Why I Passed on Baby-lead Weaning
Disclaimer 1: I’m not a BLW expert. I’ve only read Simple and Safe Baby-Led Weaning by Malina Linkas Malkani, a licensed and registered dietitian nutritionist. Her book offers great advice and is worth checking out. You can purchase it [here].
Disclaimer 2: I’m not suggesting that you’re doing anything wrong if you’ve chosen BLW. I’m simply sharing my personal reasons, shaped by who I am as an educator and a parent. Some of my reflections may help you consider your own choices. I trust that you’ll read with curiosity and openness—and above all, remember that the most important part of feeding is that our children develop positive associations with food.
What is Baby-Led Weaning (BLW)?
BLW is an infant feeding method that skips spoon-feeding purées and instead offers babies appropriately sized finger foods for self-feeding at the family table starting around six months of age.
1. I’m Passionate About Natural Gross Motor Development
To have a six-month-old participate in family meals, most of us need to place them in a high chair and buckle them in. I’m not comfortable doing that with my son because he can’t yet sit completely unassisted, and I prefer not to use constraint apparatuses. I once tried placing him in a stroller seat before he could sit independently and noticed a curve in his neck and core. A high chair would create similar issues. Even if he could sit on his own, I’d still prefer he be able to move freely away from the table when he’s finished eating. I deeply value this sense of bodily autonomy.
2. Is It Really a "Family Meal" If a Baby Is at the Table?
BLW experts (and I) emphasize the importance of paying close attention while feeding a baby during family meals. But if one of us has to give our baby full attention during the meal, are we, the parents, still truly part of the family experience? Am I supposed to be sneaking bites between helping him? What does that model about mindful eating?
Sure, we could start by feeding him and then shift to our meal, but that still doesn’t feel like a true shared family meal. In our dining room, I initially set up a small, inexpensive crib where he had more freedom to move than in a high chair. Later, we realized he needed even more room, so we placed him in his playpen while we eat. He’s completely content with that arrangement.
3. Family Meals Are Too Stimulating for Babies
For a six-month-old, the family table—filled with plates, utensils, various foods, and lively conversation—is simply overwhelming. Naturally, babies want to reach for new and interesting objects, mouth everything, and engage with everyone around them. With so many distractions, it’s hard for them to focus on the learning involved in eating.
I prefer to give my baby the chance to fully participate in feeding by involving him in every step—from wiping his hands before the meal, to choosing a bib, to observing how I serve his food. (I’ll write more about our feeding ritual in a future post.)
I wholeheartedly agree that eating is a social experience. And I trust that my child will have many opportunities to join family meals—when he’s older than two.
4. I Don’t Aim to Be a Multitasking Mother
This point ties into everything above. BLW involves multitasking—dividing attention between several things at once. But in infancy, caregiving routines like feeding, diapering, and bathing are the educational curriculum. These are the golden moments for deep connection, mutual observation, and presence.
There is so much learning during one-on-one feedings, and that requires full attention from both of us. As Magda Gerber said: “It’s better to give 100% of your attention 50% of the time than 50% of your attention 100% of the time.”
5. The Research on BLW Is Not Rigorous
Major claims made about BLW—such as improved self-regulation or healthier diets—stem from studies with weak designs. Many rely on non-randomized surveys, unvalidated questionnaires, and retrospective reports from self-selected participants. Ellyn Satter, a leading expert in child nutrition, has written extensively on this.
6. My Own Temperament
BLW often involves some gagging and possibly choking as part of the learning process. But I know myself: I’d feel anxious. I don’t want to cloud my baby’s feeding experience with my nervousness. I’ve always followed this principle—even in my teaching days: if I’m uneasy about something, I don’t do it around children until I can self-regulate. To me, that’s an act of respect.
7. There’s a Difference Between Child-Led and Adult-Led Spoon Feeding
BLW advocates often claim that spoon-fed babies are less in control and more prone to obesity. And I understand why—they’re right that many adults try to coax babies to finish every bite. I’ve been there too. There’s a strange satisfaction in seeing your baby eat a lot.
But thanks to my RIE mentors and the Pikler Institute’s beautiful feeding videos, I’ve embraced what I call “baby-led spoon feeding.” When my baby closes his mouth or gestures that he’s done, I say, “It looks like you’re done. I’ll stop now.” I feed at a slow pace, watch closely, and let him be in control of every bite.
8. Some Babies Just Aren’t Interested in Finger Foods
Ellyn Satter notes that cautious, skeptical, or developmentally delayed children may take much longer—sometimes over a year—to develop the oral-motor skills and comfort to finger feed. And some babies don’t even prefer spoon-feeding. The key is to observe your child and follow their cues.
9. I Don’t Want Him Playing With Food
There’s a fine line between exploring food and playing with it. Yes, it can be valuable to let babies feel textures and mouth food, but they’re also scientists. They want to drop it, bang it, squeeze it, and more. That’s developmentally appropriate, but I’d rather satisfy that urge with non-food play. I don’t want to spend every meal redirecting or setting constant limits. A calmer feeding experience can still offer rich learning.
That said, if your baby shows strong interest in self-feeding, or in using a spoon—give them the chance. That usually happens when they can sit up independently and maintain that posture throughout the meal. If curiosity outweighs hunger, I gently end the meal and offer playtime instead: “It looks like you’re done. Let’s wipe your hands so you can go play.”
Final Thoughts
Read critically. Observe your child. Take what works from different approaches and blend them into something that fits your family.
I wish you joyful, connected feeding experiences.
